When I saw Xu Lin and others being so high-profile before, I had thought about becoming a high-profile yin yang master, but at that time, my second uncle told me, was it so easy to be a yin yang master? Who could just become one?
I didn't say it out loud at the time, but I was still very dissatisfied. What kind of yin yang master exorcist? It was just like being a monk, just shave your head, or go up the mountain to find a Taoist temple or something, who couldn't do it, or do you still have to follow the novels, I see your talent and I have a master-disciple relationship with you and go to the mountains to cultivate with me as my disciple.
Before, my second uncle's meaning was that I couldn't do it, but now he said, "I'll teach you to be a yin yang master."
"Why are you suddenly mentioning this now?" I asked my second uncle. Although, when I heard this news, I was still very excited inside and had even sworn in the hospital that I was going to gain absolute power. What kind of power was this?
In the face of such unknown and terrifying things, Jiuliang's father was still powerless. So this power, speaking in mystical terms, still had to be a powerful spell.
"This is fate," my second uncle said this to me again, and as soon as he said it, I felt very depressed. Haven't I said it before that I hate this, alright? Can't I refute the arrangement of fate?
After saying that, he stopped talking. I looked at my parents' room, a little afraid to go in. That colorful paper person was a likeness of my mother, but such paper people and paper horses and such things are usually found in the graveyard, burned for the use of the deceased. It made me feel exceptionally cold.
In two days, I had experienced two significant emotional ups and downs in terms of family, which was the reason why I couldn't face her.
"Uncle, what exactly is going on with my mom?" I couldn't help but ask.
"When your father wakes up, you can ask him. He's the only one who knows what really happened," my second uncle said.
But how long would it be before Father woke up? I didn't know that either. Right now, the only thing I could do was wait, besides waiting, there was only waiting.
- Father woke up in the afternoon, and there was no one in the room at the time, so no one knew his reaction when he saw my mother turned into a paper person when he opened his eyes. We were all in the yard, with the gate locked, afraid of visitors.
Father just pushed the door open, and at the moment he saw him, Jiuliang covered her mouth.
And I, in that instant, burst into tears.
Father's head was covered in white hair overnight.
I opened my mouth, but didn't know how to comfort this man whose true thoughts I didn't know.
"What are you sitting around for? Xiaofan, where's your Aunt Miaoke? Go make something for your dad to eat, I'm hungry," Father actually forced out a smile at me.
I wiped away the tears that overflowed from my eyes and hurried to the kitchen. As long as people can eat, that's good. People are made of iron and food is made of steel. What I fear most is that my father will be as devastated as my grandmother.
Because there were too many things going on, there were not many dishes at home. I could only cook with the remaining ingredients. In the end, I realized that it couldn't be like this, this watery soup, how can it be eaten? So, I added some noodles, which made it look like a bowl of rice, and brought it over steaming hot.
I ran back to the room and got a fan. I watched as my father gobbled down the noodle dish like a mixed stew. I stood by, fanning him. My father was not an imposing figure who could ignite people's passion, just an ordinary father, but he had always quietly borne a lot. This was the first time I noticed that his head of white hair had actually aged so much, to the point of needing me to take care of him.
The three of us silently watched my father eat until he finished the meal I made. As he looked up at us, he said, "Do I have flowers on my face?"
Seeing his reaction, I suddenly felt so uncomfortable. I called out to him, "Dad!"
With so much going on in the family, my wife, who had shared a bed with me for over twenty years, suddenly became lifeless. My mother had been frightened into the hospital. He could still remain so calm; it must be a facade. It had to be a facade.
"If you want to cry, then cry," I said to him. Although I knew it was highly inappropriate for a son to speak to his father like that, I just didn't want my father to pretend like he's fine, as if nothing had happened, and he could still eat three big bowls of rice after such a night.
He reached out with his calloused hands and patted my head, saying with a smile, "Silly child, even if I want to cry, can't I do so without so many people watching? At this age, how can I?" But in front of you all, I made it clear, it's uncomfortable. I'm not Superman; it really is uncomfortable. But to be knocked down just because something happened at home, that's too dramatic. Last night I dreamed of your mother. She told me that she won't have the chance to hold her grandson. I will wash his diapers in the future. Don't find it dirty; don't feel that a man washing diapers is embarrassing because I'm doing this on her behalf. So don't worry, I won't die before holding my grandson. I don't want to and won't allow it. When my father's friends gave me the name Lin Yutang, they said that these three words represent a name of a literati, attracting literary luck, with no other benefits except for a strong destiny."
After finishing speaking, he handed the bowl to me and said, "Go wash the bowl for me. From when you were little till now, I've never made you do anything. I've always focused on your education, and now, you finally made it to any university, filling the gap of having no university students in our village. But, I should say, you're quite disappointing. At twenty-three, shouldn't you find a wife? This time your mother gave her bracelet to Xiaoyao. You should know her decision. You always say you won't marry. Do you think I'm unaware of what you're thinking? You were hurt once during your schooling, severely. Do you feel despondent towards women for this lifetime? A man shouldn't blame women for being practical. Others chose not to be with you because you lack the ability. Instead of complaining about others, you should strive to achieve. If someone chooses someone else because you lack things, it's because you aren't capable of providing them. Even if that girl followed you, what could you do? Return to Lin's village and farm? Can your city salary support her? In any case, this is all trivial. In one's life, one has to experience and endure. Can it be that my son, the son of Lin Yutang, is defeated by this and shamefacedly returns to Lin's village, taking the pitiful thousand yuan salary, deceiving yourself into saying you'll teach and educate the people? Making money outside, coming back to build a school, leading the villagers to prosperity, that would be real ability."
My father said more in a single sentence than he had in months. They made me bow my head in silence. I always thought that my deepest hidden secrets were unknown to anyone. Surprisingly, it was my father, whom I had always considered honest and straightforward, who saw through me.
After saying so much, my father returned to his room, saying, "If the sky falls, there will be tall people to hold it up. There is nothing to fear. Life needs to continue. My father's strong attitude really calmed me down a lot.
Back in the room, I said to Second Uncle, "Uncle, I won't ask about anything else, I just want to ask you one thing. The person in the red coffin last night, how is she now?"
I didn't ask who she was or what happened. My father's attitude had infected me; what's past is past. If Second Uncle wanted to say, he would say. If not, I didn't need to force it. I only cared about whether she would cause trouble in the future.
"I buried her. I don't know why she spared your old man last night, but I can't guarantee she won't come back," Second Uncle said.
I nodded, not saying a word. My relationship with Second Uncle was now even more complicated. Not only were we uncle and nephew, but in the future, it might be master and disciple. What he was going to teach me was the art of yin and yang.
In the middle of the night, Second Uncle woke me up and pointed to the door. I saw a person standing at the door in the moonlight. It was my old man, holding someone in his arms.
"Xiaofan, go to the hill behind and send your mother off," he said to me.
I was half asleep, I hadn't undressed, but I immediately got up from the bed upon hearing his words. I then saw, in his arms was a paper person.
My dear mother.
"Where should I bury my mother?" I asked my father after we walked out.
"In the peach orchard behind the hill. She loved peach blossoms. She never went out, and I would pick some for her to see, but she never saw a peach tree," my father said.
"Dad, what happened to my mom?" I mustered up the courage to ask, because it seemed that my father wasn't in the least surprised that my mother had become a paper person.
"I made her myself," my father said.