Hello, everyone, my name is Wang Xiaomei.
Now I'm in a coffin, wearing a red wedding dress, I've been resurrected as a zombie who's been dead for over a thousand years. I'm very panic-stricken now. Not only do I dare not move, but I also want to pee.
Why, you ask? Because I've found out that this isn't the scariest part. The scariest part is that I found out this coffin wasn't meant for one person... This is a double bed!
Wang Xiaomei shut his eyes tightly. In fact, he hadn’t just woken up; he had been awake for a while. It’s just that when he woke up and opened his eyes, he realized that he wasn't himself, but had turned into an ancient bridegroom, parentheses: the dead kind.
There was also a man lying next to him, wearing a gorgeous, intricate robe in red and black, with a face as lifelike as any living person's, parentheses: also the dead sort.
Wang Xiaomei rolled his eyes and fainted again.
When he woke up again, Wang Xiaomei realized that the guy next to him was moving!!!
F*ck!
Wang Xiaomei shut his eyes tightly, not daring to look at the person beside him.
Handsome, so what?! Handsome or not, it's still a dead person! And a goddamn good actor at that!
The Jade Emperor, Buddha, and the Virgin Mary...
Scenes from zombie movies ran wild in Wang Xiaomei's mind, afraid that the big zombie next to him would bite his neck.
As the guy next to him moved with increasing force, a chill crept along Wang Xiaomei's neck.
Ah, ah, ah, ah——!
He desperately held back the urge to pee and scream. He could feel goosebumps rising on his neck. Huh? Do dead people get goosebumps?
Wang Xiaomei had a quirk: the more afraid he was, the more tense he became, and the calmer his exterior would seem. When he was overly anxious, he'd lower the mood with crazy humor. When he was a kid, getting a shot with other kids, they'd cry while he'd laugh.
The nurse thought she'd given the kid the wrong shot.
He had thoroughly internalized the phrase "seem calm on the surface, but actually be in a panic".
Drawing on his years of being a coward, Wang Xiaomei managed to hold back the itch on his neck. Just as he felt the chill recede, before he could heave a sigh of relief,
The handsome zombie began to carefully and slowly unbutton his clothes...
Uh... Unbuttoning clothes...
Damn you, you filthy pervert——!
This cold hand is rubbing all over me. If I don't jump up and smack your knee with my surname spelled backward!
...But spelling it backward would still be Wang.
Just as Wang Xiaomei was summoning the courage to defend his dignity, the handsome ancient zombie gently embraced and sighed with him, a cold breath wafting on his forehead.
"Mian Deng, another day has passed in the mortal realm, when will you wake up."
So, zombies can talk too, Wang Xiaomei thought silently. Is Mian Deng the owner of this body I'm in now? It seems that this body only preserved without really coming back to life.
Just as he thought this, a cold kiss grazed his lips, carrying an ancient scent. The gentle kiss.
F*ck, my first kiss——!
Wang Xiaomei's heart wept rivers. He never thought his first kiss would be given to this stranger zombie. Even if he's handsome, he's still a zombie!
Sob, sob, sob, this is the first kiss I wanted to give my future boyfriend...
Although it's uncomfortable, nothing else matters as long as I'm alive.
With eyes shut in the darkness, Wang Xiaomei felt the intricate and delicate kiss on his lips, the sense of being cherished and treasured making him somewhat shy. After all, he was a young boy at the peak of his puberty, a stage that couldn't bear much excitement.
Wang Xiaomei had to accept the kiss from the other party, silently relieved that the handsome zombie's mouth was n't stinky from the dead. If his mouth was as stinky as in the movies, Wang wouldn't have been able to hold back from hurling in his face.
This kiss had been going on for half an hour. If he wasn't a corpse, he might have suffocated. Thinking about the master of this tomb and the wedding dress, along with such intimate gestures...
Are these two men ancient gays?
I'm still a modern outstanding young man living the single life, while ancient corpses have partners.
Sigh...
A while later, Wang Xiaomei began to gradually enjoy this kiss. He couldn't move his tongue, he could only open his mouth and accept it. Thinking about the tender and considerate actions of this handsome zombie, he couldn't help but feel moved. They must have been very affectionate with each other before, or they wouldn't have died and been buried together. Even after becoming zombies, they still kissed each other so tenderly.
Good man! Unfortunately, he's dead...
Wang Xiaomie, who was lost in thought, swallowed involuntarily.
The gentle and affectionate kiss came to an abrupt stop.
His cold lips left hers, and Wang Xiaomie broke out in a cold sweat!
Oh no, it's over.
The atmosphere fell silent.
Wang Xiaomie squinted slightly and, using the radiant night pearls inside the coffin, peeked to find the handsome guy, dressed in black and red ancient attire, with a red crown, black hair, a red pattern at the center of his eyebrows, a smooth yet angular face, bluish lips, narrow elongated eyes, and a complex, excited, and anxious expression as he gazed at him.
Oh my god!
Wang Xiaomie quickly deceived himself and closed his eyes. He didn't know what the handsome guy did; there was a mechanical sound coming from the coffin.
Then the coffin lid on top slowly slid open...
Bro, is your coffin a sliding model?
As the slightly dazzling light shone in, Wang Xiaomie widened her eyes slowly, forgetting where she was and looked towards the outside of the coffin.
It was a circular, huge hollow, like a mountain that had been hollowed out, with a gigantic space, so large that it was like a larger version of the Bird's Nest stadium, with a dense complex of palaces and pavilions built on the walls.
Similar to temples built on cliffs in scenic areas, they were able to overlook these buildings, which means...
In the center of the immense hollow and the mushroom-like buildings around it, there was a massive stone pillar entwined with tree roots, supporting the sky.
On the wide platform of the stone pillar, there grew an old tree that required the embrace of seven people.
What shocked Wang Xiaomie was not the old tree, but the flourishing pink peach blossoms on it, with only flowers and no leaves!
How much were the flowers in full bloom? They were in full bloom like a scarlet fire burning on the tree.
The light projected from above gave the tree a sacred meaning...
Their coffins were placed under this blazing cherry blossom tree.
Shaken, it took Wang Xiaomie a while to come to her senses, then she turned her head.
The eyes of the handsome guy were even more scorching than the peach blossoms as he smiled at him.
"..."
The two of them looked at each other in silence for a while.
"Z-Z-Zombie-!" Wang Xiaomie trembled and shouted, before fainting.