"Little brother, please stop," a scruffy old man with a dirty face stopped the young man, saying, "I see no spirit in your eyes, a foul aura around you, and gloominess on your forehead. It is evident that a disaster is imminent!"
"Give it a rest, it's the 21st century and you're using this act," the young man sneered, "old man, with your filthy appearance, tattered clothes, shaky limbs, and balding head, it's obvious that the end is near for you!"
The old man rolled his eyes, seemingly greatly shocked, before finally catching his breath, "You are really extraordinary, to foresee my approaching end. It seems I have found the right person!"
"Go away," the young man waved his hands in annoyance, "I'm in a hurry to get to work. While respecting elders is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, be careful not to provoke me with your disrespect for the young."
"Heh heh, I don't believe it," despite his soot-covered face, the old man's eyes sparkled as he observed the young man, "Little brother, I'm quite old, but I'm not joking with you. If I'm not mistaken, your name is Yan Xiaokai, right? You should be twenty-one today, am I right? I assume today is your birthday, according to the Chinese zodiac."
"Correct," the young man was astonished, and with a threatening tone, he continued, "Alright, it's obvious you've been watching me for a long time, to know all this! What's your scheme?"
"No scheme, no scheme," the old man gestured with his hands, "Little brother, you are about to face a disaster, and only I can help you. It depends on whether you are sincere."
"What do you want?" the young man asked without sincerity.
"It's simple," the old man mysteriously smiled, then pulled out a few books from his pocket. He opened them into a fan, revealing a row of traditional characters on the covers: "Nine Yin Manual", "Great Inversion of the Universe", "18 Dragon Subduing Palms", "Li Xiao's Flying Knives"…
"Wow!" the young man rolled his eyes, "Elder, I also admire Stephen Chow. I've watched 'Kung Fu Hustle' many times. Please show me something new, will you?"
"I'm not joking; these are all authentic," the old man looked at the young man solemnly, "Do you want to maintain world peace? Spend ten yuan, buy any book, and the responsibility of upholding world peace will be yours."
"I won't buy it, not even if I die!" the young man looked at the old man with contempt, "I won't even buy it for one yuan!"
"Fine," the old man said bluntly, "If you don't buy it, you will surely have bad luck. You'll step on dog poop, get caught peeking, and even be accused of harassment on the bus. It won't end there; when you are at work…"
"Stop! Stop!" the young man was furious, "Old man, I can see that you're old, and I don't want to hit you. Don't push me!"
"Heh heh, alright, we'll meet tonight," perhaps fearing being punched, the old man ran off quickly. He was surprisingly fast, and the young man probably wouldn't be able to catch him even if he tried. After running a distance, the old man turned back and shouted, "Xiaokai, be careful not to get hit by a car when walking!"
"What bad luck! Encountering such an unprofessional swindler," the young man cursed angrily and continued walking with his head down.
The young man always felt unlucky. At twenty-one, he had graduated from college, ended up in a half-dead-end job, had no money, no girlfriend, and was constantly bullied by his boss. His once high aspirations from his time in school had been exhausted in less than half a year. The weather was fine today, and his mood was quite good, but the old man ruined it, and he started feeling depressed again.
While mulling over his thoughts with his head down, he suddenly felt his feet give way. Looking down, he saw a fresh, steaming pile of dog poop at the crease of his new shoes and the ground. A pungent smell hit his nose.
Feeling exasperated, the young man looked up and saw a short-tailed dog happily frolicking in the nearby greenery.
"That swindler has tricked me," the young man realized. He searched himself and found no tissue. He then saw the fresh dog poop, and with a sudden realization, he swiftly moved towards the bushes.
In the bushes, there were many fallen leaves. The young man planned to pick up a few leaves to clean his shoes, but as he entered, he faintly heard a moaning sound. It was quite alluring, and the young man was instantly alert.
He was accustomed to hearing such sounds in movies but had never experienced it in reality. To be able to hear such sounds here was unexpected. Without need for thought, he knew that something dubious was happening beyond the bushes.
For a virgin like him, such a splendid opportunity was not to be missed.
The young man forgot about the dog poop on his shoe and parted the branches to take a look.
Just two meters away, a man and a woman were entangled in a passionate embrace. The man, as fat as a pig, was vigorously moving on top of the woman who was lying on the ground. Her slim waist swayed enchantingly, emitting intermittent moans that made the young man's blood boil. He rubbed his eyes vigorously and leaned in closer, almost able to see every detail, even the most intimate parts of the woman's body.
Without a doubt, the young man was deeply shaken. Unconsciously, he felt a reaction from his own body just as he heard a muffled groan from the man, who stopped abruptly. The woman's movements ceased as well. Then the man said, "Huh, what's that awful smell?"
"Yeah," the woman said, "I also noticed the stench."
As soon as the two spoke, the young man felt that something was amiss. Upon a closer thought, he realized that the voices were familiar. He tilted his head and looked again, and to his shock, he found his boss, Jia Zhengjing, and the familiar, prestigious company's assistant manager, Qin Zhen, just a short distance away.
At the sight of the dumbfounded Xiaokai nearby, Jia Zhengjing immediately roared, "Xiaokai! What are you doing here?"
"I… I…" Xiaokai was truly shaken, unable to respond coherently. His face turned bright red, and the situation was beyond explanation. He turned around and scampered out of the bushes like a rabbit, fleeing as fast as he could.
"Wait for me!" Jia Zhengjing's furious voice echoed behind him. Alongside it, Xiaokai could almost hear Qin Zhen's faintly contemptuous laughter, "Inexperienced boy…"
"Damn it, what's wrong with being inexperienced?" Xiaokai gnashed his teeth while running, "An inexperienced person like me can still give you tremors of desire. Don't believe me? Come and try." His body was restless, and this was the first time he had witnessed such a X-rated scene, causing his thoughts to become unfocused. In the midst of this, he heard a voice exclaiming, "Watch out!"
"Squeak!" A piercing brake noise pierced his eardrums, and in the next moment, Xiaokai felt a sharp pain in his backside as an irresistible force propelled him forward.
"Thud!" Two seconds later, Xiaokai's body landed heavily on the ground as if it were a bag of cement. His butt stung, and he sucked in a sharp breath, nearly teary-eyed. Countless chaotic thoughts swirled through his mind, "Oh no… I got hit by a car… My ribs are broken… My organs are damaged… My meridians are severed… I'm going to die… I'm not ready to go…"
"Hey, kid, what are you still sitting on the ground for? Get up quickly!" The car stopped, but the driver's reaction caught Little Kai by surprise: "Hurry up and get up, don't waste my time. Damn it, I'm waiting to go chop someone!"
Little Kai stared at the driver with wide eyes. This guy had the typical appearance of a gangster: overcoat, sunglasses, leather shoes. He was definitely over 1.85 meters tall. Even standing a few meters away, Little Kai had to tilt his head slightly to see him. When he lifted his head, the disparity in their presence was immediately evident. The man in sunglasses roared again: "Get up already!"
As soon as the words fell, Little Kai sprang up and dusted off the dirt on his legs, wiped the sweat off his face, and discreetly patted his buttocks. Strangely enough, it seemed like he wasn't injured at all.
"Get out of the way!" the man in sunglasses spoke again, "I'm in a hurry to go chop someone. If you don't move, I'll hit you again."
"I can't believe how arrogant this person is," thought Little Kai angrily, while making way reluctantly. He watched the arrogant Santana drive away, with smoke billowing from its rear, which blew into Little Kai's nostrils.